Old Actonians WFC Res

Mighty Reseves vs AFC Fulham

Sunday 14th March 2010
Clapham Common
by Eilis Kerr

Weather: Sunny! Warm! Interesting crosswind

Ref: Due to get his birthday card from the Queen soon. Good job most of the action was in one half, because the buses only ran every 15 mins to the other end of the pitch for him.

Supporters: Some interested dog walkers, some disinterested joggers and some random man who stood stock still for 90 minutes waching the game. I never saw him move. Might possibly have been a mannequin.

With Mother’s Day robbing us of Harry, Nat Randall and Yvanna, plus Amy going to a party on Saturday night and claiming she couldn’t drive alll the way back from very oop North to London in 3.5 hours (slacker!) we were faced with the prospect of not reaching 11 players for this top of the table clash. Well, they are top of the table. We’re propping up the middle.

8am, Sunday morning a message is received. “I can’t play. I'm pissing Poo”. And there we were, down to 9. Names shall be withheld to protect Kat from any embarrassment.

9am discussion on who else could possibly play. Would Andy pass in a wig? (no). Should we accost anyone passing by the pitch in orange? Decide 11 is way too many and 9 will do just fine.

And there’s no such thing as a peaceful morning when you’re trying to sort things out… 10am – run around in a panic with a piece of toast trying to find the match sheets. Remember they’re in the 1st aid kit, and I don’t have it 10:05 – put cup of tea down somewhere 10:12 – err, who has the kit again? 10:15 – remember I need to pack my kitbag 10:20 – receive messages asking if the game is on 10:32 – message that someone has lost a shinpad. How can you lose just one? Fashion a spare shinpad from toast and sellotape. Tell player you have a spare. 10:40 – put more toast on. 10:45 – Answer phone to player who can’t tie shoelaces and needs instruction 10:55 – find cup of tea 11am – Pack own bag 11:05 – answer phone to player who needs the first aid kit because they've had an accident at home involving some jam, the oven and the family pet. tell them to call the person with the first aid kit. 11:15 – pack bag again, remembering kit 11:19 – Lose tea again. Remember toast is in the toaster 11:20 – pack back a third time, remembering shin pads. 11:22 – what’s that burning smell? Remember toast 11:25 – Answer phone from player who is going to be late due to a random act of God turning their alarm off. Oh and they don’t know where the venue is, don’t have an A to Z or internet access to look it up. Form complicated directions and deliver them to the player via pigeon. Pray pigeon doesn’t get lost. 11:30 – Find tea a third time. Dump into thermos and run out the door. 11:31 – remember toast…too late! We’re on our way to Clapham!

With the morning out of the way we trekked to sunny Clapham Common and along the way we receive a message of support “hope it isn’t too painful!”

So we lined up like this

  Eilis

Laurie Rachel Marian Jess

            MV

Nat B Polly

            Dani

We started really well, our plan to contain and frustrate Fulham and hope to catch something on the break working well. We were ever concious of the chances of a through ball, and MV was patrolling around the back of midfield sweeping up many attacks. However it didn’t take long for the first through ball to come through, followed by a Fulham player, followed by Marian and MV at top speed. the player shot and Eilis deflected it away for a corner. They lined up for their corner and we cleared the ball away. Laurie was using her patented “I shall be on the post yet marking 3 players in the box” move, and one of the best shouts I heard was MV to Nat B “Nat,you got those 4 there yeah?” “Yep, I got them!” Classic.

And then we broke! Polly sprinting down the wing, around their player and in for a cross. Dani was marked by 4 players so couldn’t get on the end of it. but they cleared it away for a corner. This period of pressure lasted a good 5 mins, and Fulham’s coach was getting very annoyed. Jess and Marian made use of Eilis with a number of good back passes (and a couple of terrifyingly short ones leaving Eilis sprinting for the ball against the Fulham player). And then they had another one on one that Eilis saved twice while waiting for the defence to scramble back. The ball went to the edge of the area and then they shot it in. It came off a Fulham player, off a defender, off another Fulham player, hit MV on the knee and landed right in Eilis' hands.

Meanwhile Nat B found herself in oodles of space on the right, so we started using it. She had the beating of a defender and tried to put dani through. The pass was spot on, but Dani couldn’t quite get on the end of it, the ball dribbling through to the keeper. Fulham tried to break again, but Marian defended well and was left with a dead leg as her thanks.

Jess continued to marshall the left flank well. She was generally marking two players,sometimes 3, but most of the time she'd come away with the ball and set Polly going down the left. And then…a ball came in from Fulham, and our defence didn’t clear it. Their striker nipped around one of us and smacked the ball home from about 2 yards out. 1-0.

We regrouped and stuck to our plan. If we could only get a bit of space up front we'd be able to shoot. And sadly that’s just what we gave to Fulham. We had been defending for a couple of minutes and then one of their players wasn’t closed down on the edge of the area and she hit a very decent shot. Eilis was unsighted and dived late, and it was just out of reach into the left hand corner. 2-0.

Halftime. We moved Rachel into Centre midfield as MV pointed out she was often marking 4 players on her own, and went to 3 at the back. And off we went again!

The second half was a little more interesting…Fulham were clearly annoyed that they'd not scored a hatful and we were still containing them fairly well. But unfortunately a short clearance from one of our defenders allowed their striker to nip in and stick the ball in the net for 3-0. Doh. we gathered ourselves up and set off to find us a goal from somewhere. MV had a shot that was on target, just lacking a little power and their keeper saved it.

Nat B and Polly continued to hassle on the wings, and Laurie and Jess backed them up magnificently, sticking their foot through the ball any time it was looking dangerous, but other than that playing the ball out. at one point we had a lovely little passing move between Marian, Laurie, MV and Nat B that ended up with a through ball for Dani that she couldn’t get onto, because she was still being followed around by 5 players. I could hardly see Dani, surrounded by them all.

Fulham pressed more, seeking more goals. Eilis was forced into a number of one on one saves, and we started to clear better from their corners. One of these we almost scored from, Polly and Dani breaking down the left after a hoofed clearance from the back. Polly cut the ball back to Dani, who rolled it to MV who hit a rasping shot on target, making the Fulham keeper scramble across the goal and palm it away. So close! Marian and Laurie had amazing headers from the Fulham keeper’s kick from hands, sending the ball flying away from danger and back into the Fulham half, all without the ball ever bouncing. See – we can do it!

We had another close call, Eilis saving a one on one that Fulham pounced back on, Laurie cleared it, it came back in and as Eilis was diving for it Jess lept across and used her knee to sky the ball away very high for a corner and leaving Eilis lying on the floor in a puddle of fear. Believe me, nothing is as scary as a screaming “JESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and a knee about an inch away from your head.

MV then tangled with their slightly nutty midfielder, who was irritating most of us (and her teammates). MV came off worse, falling down and having her land squarely on top of her, while calling her a most unsavoury name. MV looked like she'd been run over when she got up. And then the ref awarded them a free kick and their striker came legging it through midfield and forced into an early shot with the combined pressure of Laurie and MV, which was saved by Eilis. We conceded a corner which Laurie cleared away, showing her patented “marking everything” move again.

As time drew near we sadly conceded one more goal from a late sub who had a pair of fresher legs than us, putting the ball just past Eilis and holding off the attention of Marian. The ref blew up for the final whistle and most of us just collapsed. A very tough game indeed. Most of us were happy to point out to our new player Rachel that no, it’s not like this every week (–:

So although we lost, Jess is claiming a moral victory for us. Go us! And as our reward we get to play a team 3 divisions above us next week in the cup, even further away!

PPom: Laurie MPom: Jess

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